


fxxk love, you know me

by retweet_this



Category: Pod Save America (RPF)
Genre: Non-Linear Narrative, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-22
Updated: 2017-11-22
Packaged: 2019-02-05 17:08:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12798714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/retweet_this/pseuds/retweet_this
Summary: hey, elijah





	fxxk love, you know me

He forgets his dream as soon as his eyes open, but it still takes him a few seconds before he comprehends what woke him. His phone is ringing. Everything is still dark so it’s still nighttime which means that whatever this is could be an emergency and his heart is pounding in his chest already as he fumbles for it and slides his finger across the screen.

“Hello?” he answers, voice a little hoarse.

“Oh, good, you’re awake,” Lovett says. “Come over.”

Elijah blinks, then blinks again. He’s not sure what’s going on. “Huh?”

“I can’t sleep,” Lovett continues. “I’ve tried everything. And yes, I even did that thing where I turned off all my electronics and stared at the ceiling.”

“Uh huh,” Elijah says, slowly. He’s still trying to process what’s going on. He lifts the phone away from his ear for a moment – and yup, it’s two a.m., it’s still the middle of the night, and Lovett definitely called him. He clears his throat. “Did you, uh, try to count sheep?”

“Count sheep,” Lovett repeats, and he wonders what he’s doing right now as he’s lying in bed, waiting for sleep to overtake him. He probably called Jon and Tommy and maybe even Ronan and none of them must’ve answered.

“Yeah.” Elijah shifts a little, turning on his side and trying to keep his eyes open so he doesn’t drift off back into sleep. “You know. People do that sometimes.”

“Why sheep?”

That’s… a good question, and Elijah says as much. “I dunno,” he says, stifling a yawn. “Maybe because they look like clouds?” It’s a stretch but it’s the best he could come up with.

“That’s where the resemblance ends,” Lovett huffs, and there’s some rustling of sheets on the other end. “You ever been around sheep, Elijah? Let me tell you, they smell _awful_. Just awful.”

“When did you spend time around sheep?” Elijah asks.

“Never you mind.” There’s some more shuffling, then Lovett lets out a long sigh. “All right, I think I’ll try drinking some more milk, that might help.” He pauses. “Thanks for putting up with me.”

He hangs up before Elijah can even think of a reply, leaving him with his phone pressed against his cheek for no good reason, until it slides out of his hands as his head returns to the pillow and he goes back to sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“People have been pointing out that most of your content is just videos of Lovett goofing around,” Tanya says while they’re setting up for the livestream.

“Hey,” Elijah huffs, pausing for dramatic effect, “it’s also videos of dogs.” He ignores her laughter as he bends down and scratches Leo behind the ears, grinning a little as he nuzzles against his hand.

“No wonder you got hired,” she hums. “You’re just like the rest of them – obsessed with the same things.”

He looks up from the microphones and raises a brow at her. “What, and you’re not?”

Tanya shrugs and might be about to respond when Lovett and Tommy walk in, laughing about something that Elijah doesn’t quite catch as they sit down at the table. Tommy looks like he’s just about to burst with excitement and he makes a visible effort of controlling himself as he clears his throat.

“So,” he says, “how soon should I wait before I mention that I’m getting my puppy today?”

“Well, you’ve already mentioned it five hundred times to me and everyone else in the company so,” Lovett raises his brows, fond but negging, and takes a sip of his drink – La Croix. Oh boy are the people going to latch on to the fact that he’s drinking La Croix and Tommy’s drinking Diet Coke.

Tommy rolls his eyes. “What do you think, Tanya?” he asks as he pulls on his headphones. “You’re our chief content officer, after all.”

“Why not ask Elijah?” Lovett counters. “I mean, he’s the one dealing with the masses on a day-to-day basis. Tanya hasn’t given anyone content in ages.”

“I resent that,” Tanya deadpans, and they all break for a moment to laugh. She looks over at Elijah. “But sure, I’ll humor it – Elijah, what do you think?”

Elijah shrugs, still recovering a little. “Well, uh, if we mention it at the top of the livestream, all anyone’s going to ask is about the dog.”

“That’s a good point, but you know he’s not going to be able to control himself.” Lovett ignores Tommy’s laughter, tapping the table a bit before he snaps his fingers. “No, wait, I got it – thanks, Elijah.”

He puts on the headphones and gives a thumbs-up, and Elijah steps out of frame as Tanya finishes her final touches.

“Elijah, always helping out,” Tommy hums, and it’s just as the stream starts that he, unintentionally or not (probably not) turns to Lovett and says, “Hey, remember when I tweeted that picture of Elijah and there were like forty ‘is he single’ questions in a row?”

Elijah feels his face turn a little more pink when Tanya nudges him, and more so when Lovett says, “I think Elijah remembers,” and laughs right after.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“New York is a big city,” Lovett says, a hint of drama in his voice, like he’s narrating a big scene in a movie. He’s got his face against the window as he looks out, and it might’ve been more picturesque if they’d been driving around at night and not in the middle of the day.

“Yes,” Elijah replies. “I think everyone knows that.”

“Oh, hush, you’re ruining my dramatic monologue,” Lovett huffs. He pouts slightly and looks out the window again. “As I was saying, New York is a big city. You’ve got a lot of people running around, doing their thing and… and…” He groans. “Aw, fuck. Elijah, you threw me off.”

He swats his arm playfully and Elijah laughs, short and sweet. “Come on,” he hums, “I know you didn’t actually have anywhere to go with that, you just wanted to be dramatic.”

“I’m concerned you’re becoming like the others and negging me more than you’re indulging me,” Lovett grumbles, faux angry of course, and Elijah has to make a huge effort not to laugh.

“I don’t know if that’s a bad thing.”

“Oh, it is.” Elijah laughs a little harder but it abruptly cuts off when Lovett adds, “I even have to suffer from this with my boyfriend, even when he’s living miles away from me.” He shakes his head with a fond smile, too fond, it clenches something in Elijah’s chest.

It’s his turn to clear his throat and look out the window, nodding a little absently. “Uh, yeah,” he says, slowly. “Yeah, you know… they just about you.”

Lovett doesn’t notice anything weird about him, he sits back, still smiling, sighing again. “Yeah,” he agrees. He looks over at him again. “Hey, you don’t mind, do you, that I’m making you stay in the hotel while I’m staying with Ronan?”

“No,” Elijah says quickly. Maybe too quickly. He slows himself down a little. “No, no, I get it. You guys live miles away, this is one of those few times you get to spend together.”

“Yeah,” Lovett nods. “Yeah, exactly.” He doesn’t say anything for a moment, but there’s something on the tip of his tongue that takes a few moments to stumble past his lips. “I’m not being selfish, am I?”

Elijah doesn’t think he understands the question – not its context nor the reasoning behind it – but he knows how to answer. “No,” he says. “No, of course not.” And whatever tightness in his chest unclenches when he sees him relax into the seat and smile again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“All right,” Lovett says, after their last take, “how did it go this time?” He’s eaten over half the pizza now and he wipes his mouth with a napkin, crumpling it up and tossing it in the general direction of a trash can. It misses by an inch and lands right beside it.

Elijah picks it up and throws it away. “Yeah, I think we got it. No more birds ruining our shot.”

“Stupid birds,” Lovett grumbles under his breath. “You know they call them the rats of the sky, right?”

“I swear I’ve heard that phrase somewhere before.”

Lovett thinks about it for a second. “Okay, there is a ninety percent chance I stole that from something I saw on TV.”

“Classic coastal elite, stealing jokes from the hard-working middle class,” Elijah hums, corners of his mouth quirking when Lovett laughs. He puts away his phone and follows him down the street.

“I’m glad you’re learning how to make bad politics jokes like the rest of us,” Lovett says and he nudges his side.

Elijah laughs a little, letting it trail off into a sigh as he looks around. It’s not much different than yesterday, not in his opinion, but hey, what better way to kill some time than by exploring a big city, huh?

They’re quiet for a bit but then Lovett of course has to go and break the silence. He clears his throat. “So,” he says, “how’s your family?”

“My family?” Elijah blinks. Kind of a surprise question but then again, nothing’s really a surprise around Lovett when _everything_ is a surprise around Lovett. He shrugs. “They’re doing well.”

“Good,” Lovett nods. He clears his throat. “I was just asking because, well, you know, Thanksgiving is coming up and I was just seeing if you’re gonna spend it here with them or back in LA…”

“I’m probably going to come home for Thanksgiving,” Elijah admits. There’s something to the way Lovett stiffens when he says this and he wants to ask about it, but of course, he doesn’t get the chance to because of course, Lovett abruptly changes the subject.

“Hey,” he runs up ahead and stops in front of a tiny sit-in restaurant. “Hey, Ronan said this place has _fantastic_ food – we should go in and eat.”

“But you just had a pizza.” There’s a beat where Lovett just stares at him and Elijah stares back, until he finally caves in and walks inside.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He’s gotten better at recording moments over the past few months. At first it was just – nothing. He had no idea what to record or take pictures of or anything. The guys were always very funny, always very photogenic – almost impossibly so. It was like they never had a bad angle.

“It’s very intimate,” Tanya tells him one day while they’re editing a pod. “I mean, we’ve already got a very intimate workplace, it’s all small and we’re basically a small family, but they’re funny guys.”

“They know how to put on a show,” Elijah says, and she nods.

“Yeah, exactly. They’re showmen at heart.” She shakes her head with a slight chuckle. “They’re gonna be ridiculous once we start doing more live shows.”

“Oh, absolutely,” Elijah laughs. “Could you imagine – a live audience of hundreds of people reacting to their jokes in real-time? No way we’re getting them back into the studio after that.”

“The only reason we still have Lovett coming into the office is because he gets to have a whole pod to just himself, once a week,” Tanya hums.

Elijah’s fingers hover over the keys for just a second as he asks, “Do you, uh, think he’s ever going to go solo or something like that?”

“Solo?”

“You know,” he shrugs, “go off and do his own thing without Crooked Media.”

Tanya doesn’t even hesitate as she shakes her head. “No, I highly doubt it,” she says. “He’s having too much fun here.”

“Fun,” Elijah repeats. He puts his headphones back on and listens to one of the ads.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Every time I come to D.C., I’m always concerned that they’ve closed down my favorite restaurant,” Lovett admits. He plops down on one of the beds and lies back.

“Yeah?” Elijah says, because he really can’t think of much else. His brain is working in short spurts of energy that will certainly run out at any moment and it’s hard enough trying to take off his shoes, let alone try to understand what Lovett is saying.

“Yeah,” Lovett says. He yawns a little. “Yeah, I mean, it’s a tiny takeout place, it could easily be shut down any day if not enough people go.”

“Or if there’s a health-code violation,” Elijah points out.

Lovett sits up and raises his brows at him. “They wouldn’t have a health-code violation,” he huffs, then pauses. “… Do you think they had a health-code violation?”

Elijah shrugs. “Only one way to find out.” He kicks his socks off and leans against the pillows, rubbing his eyes a little as he grabs the TV guide on the nightstand. A couple of movies are on – yeesh, it’s only November, how are there already Christmas movies?

“Hi,” Lovett says, suddenly, and Elijah looks up to see him speaking into the receiver. “Yes, I would like a pad thai, a red curry, a massaman curry, a green curry, just – all the curries, give me all of them – and you know what, make that extra spicy, make it –” He pauses and puts his hand over the receiver. “Do you like spicy food?”

“I love it,” Elijah replies, and Lovett grins at him.

The food comes in about half an hour after they order and when Elijah comes back up from the lobby (because he’s “younger and more able-bodied and come on, I spent all day preforming, please?”) he finds Lovett sitting cross-legged on the bed, flipping through channels.

“Can you believe it?” he huffs. “I mean, it’s one thing to put up your Christmas lights right after Thanksgiving, but it’s _entirely_ another thing to put on fucking Christmas movies in early fucking November.”

“Exactly what I was thinking,” Elijah says. He unpacks the boxes on the table, setting them up in some semblance of order. He glances back at the TV. “So are we gonna watch Rudolph or what?”

There’s a long pause after Lovett sighs, and then he nods. “Yeah,” he says. “We’re gonna watch some fucking Rudolph.” He clicks it on and leans back. “You know, there are so many problems with this movie.”

“I’m sure there are.” Elijah sits down across from him, carton in one hand and chopsticks in the other and when Lovett swings his feet out, they brush against his knees. It’s a casual affair.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They both spend late nights in the office. That’s really where the camaraderie begins, the shared experience of being the only two people in the office when the sun is way down and it’s long past time they should’ve gone home.

“Why’re you still here?” Lovett asks one night. He steps over to Elijah’s desk, leaning against it as he cracks open a can of Diet Coke.

Elijah shrugs. “Why are you?” he asks in response.

Lovett doesn’t ask again.

Most nights it’s just quiet, Elijah typing away on the computer, making some edits and checking in on their social media stats while Lovett does… something at his desk. Sometimes he’s typing, waving his fingers around the keys before he stands up and grabs another coke out of the fridge. Sometimes he’s scrolling through what looks like YouTube with Pundit perched in his lap, looking tired most of the time.

Sometimes she walks over to Elijah and he picks her up too, scratching behind her ears and smiling down at her. “What do you think of the video I posted today?” he asks.

She barks and nuzzles against him. He’ll take that as some form of validation for his art.

There’s one night where Lovett leaves and comes back with a six-pack, planting it right on Elijah’s desk as he says, “Do you know a place where I can hide this until the Alabama senate race is over?”

Elijah looks up at him for a long moment. “Why did you buy it now if you’re gonna drink it then?” he asks.

Lovett rolls his eyes. “Why does anyone do anything, Elijah? Don’t question my methods.” He stomps over to the kitchen and Elijah follows after. He puts the cans in one of the empty cabinets, then holds the door open. “You know, if you want me to conform to your logic, I guess we could just drink these now and order more in December.”

“We’re supposed to be working,” Elijah points out.

“ _You’re_ supposed to be working,” Lovett retorts.

Elijah shakes his head. “No, no, I know you have that article you’ve been working on. That’s something you have to finish before tonight.”

Lovett lets out a low groan. “Fine,” he huffs. “What about after?”

“After, we’re going home.”

“Home,” he repeats. He looks at him and gives him a long look. “You know why I stay here every night you stay here?” He doesn’t bother waiting for an answer. “It’s because I don’t think you should be alone either.”

And without another word, he reaches into the fridge and grabs another coke, brushing past Elijah as he walks out and back to his desk.

Elijah never brings it up ever again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He nearly screams when he feels hands on him and then he registers Lovett’s face above him, looking down at him with a look of curiosity and relief. “Oh, good, you’re awake,” he says.

Elijah feels an overwhelming sense of déjà vu as he starts to come to. “Uh,” he says, a little stupidly. “Did, uh, did something happen?”

“What? No, of course not,” Lovett scoffs. “You think I’d be waking you up that calmly if something had actually happened?”

“I don’t know,” Elijah admits. His brain still feels fuzzy and he rubs his eyes with the bottoms of his palms as he slowly comes to awareness. “Uh, what’s – what’s going on?”

“Do you want to see the sunrise?”

He blinks. “What?”

“Do you want to see the sunrise?” Lovett asks again. There’s something about the way he says it that might mean this isn’t actually about the sunrise, that this is Lovett deflecting on something, it’s probably near five in the morning, there’s no way he really wants to watch the sunrise.

Elijah yawns, “Let me grab my coat.”

The roof is empty when they get there – which makes complete sense because why would there be anyone on the roof of a hotel in order to catch the sunrise? It’s the kind of place that only exists in cutesy movies, the kind everyone hates but secretly loves.

They stand near the edge and look out into the distance. “Don’t look directly at it,” Elijah tries to joke, but Lovett doesn’t laugh. He looks a little… thoughtful? It’s strange to see him so serious like this.

“Hey, Elijah?” he says, after a moment.

Elijah clears his throat. “Yeah?”

“You didn’t have to come up here with me if you didn’t want to.”

It takes Elijah a couple of seconds to think of the right thing to say. “It wasn’t a problem,” he says, slowly. He looks back out into the horizon. “I haven’t seen the sunrise in ages.”

Beside him, Lovett scoffs. “Oh, it’s highly overrated. Plenty of people get up early enough every day to see it, especially before Daylight Savings kicks in.”

Elijah still isn’t looking at him when he works up the nerve to ask, “So why did you want to see it?” He waits for a response and when one doesn’t come, he looks over to find Lovett heading for the stairs, back inside.

He’s left to watch the sunrise alone. If he’s being honest, it’s not that overrated, but there’s no way he’s going to say that to Lovett.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The tour is where he really starts to pick things up – meaning, he stops thinking about what he’s doing and he just does it. Whatever moments he feels like, no matter how insignificant or mundane or whatever, he’ll record or take a picture and then post it on Instagram for the masses to see. And they all seem to enjoy it.

“Of course they do,” Jon hums. “You come out with good content that they want to see.” He pauses. “Or Lovett’s out there paying people to watch your videos so he has an excuse to get you to follow him around and catch his every move.”

All three of them laugh, even Lovett, while Dan just rolls his eyes and smiles at all of them fondly. It’s really interesting to see the way they all act together, as a unit of four, rather than just two’s or three’s. They’ve got a nice sort of dynamic going on and it’s interesting to see it close-up.

You wouldn’t know that from what he’s taking pictures of, though, Because even though all of them are great to take pictures of and videotape and everything, there’s just. something so captivating about the way Lovett does it.

He’s never still, not even for a moment. Moving, shifting, fidgeting, talking with his entire body if he’s able to. Whenever he can, he sits in a chair in the most comfortable way he deems fit, usually with his entire body curled into the seat.

“There’s a reason they say he’s electric in any medium,” Tommy says when he finally flips through the Crooked Instagram account.

Dan looks up from his phone. “He’s the one who says that about himself.”

Everyone laughs again, especially when Lovett huffs and flushes in his seat, and Elijah takes a picture of the whole scene.

“Man,” Jon laughs when he finally takes his turn looking through the story, “you really captured all of Lovett’s good side in these.” He chuckles and gives him a slight grin. “Looks like he’s dragged you into his orbit as well, huh?”

Elijah doesn’t know what he means, not at first, not until he’s going through the pictures on his phone to post to the account and he realizes – fuck, how many pictures of Lovett has he taken? Him sitting down, him eating, him looking out into the distance, him turning and giving the camera a ridiculous grin.

Oh wow. He’s captured a lot of Lovett, hasn’t he?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s another call in the middle of the night, but Elijah’s awake this time, sitting at his TV with his controller in his lap as he reaches over to pick up his phone. “Hello?”

“I need you to pick me up,” Lovett says. No usual pleasantries or funny remarks or even a hello. There’s nothing specifically strange about his voice that screams something may be wrong – though that might be the key thing Elijah should be looking for, maybe it’s some sort of signal that he’s being held at gunpoint by some men in scary masks and he needs saving and –

Wait. Why would Lovett call him if that were the case? Come on, Elijah, use your brain. He clears his throat. “Uh, sure,” he says. “Where are you?”

“I’m at CVS.”

“What?” Elijah says. “CVS?”

“Yeah, CVS,” he repeats. “I wanted to make a midnight ice cream run but I didn’t want to pay for the ride back.”

It sounds like a lie. It sounds like a flimsy excuse of a lie that he made up just on the spot to hide whatever the real reason he had for being out this late at night. Questions and concerns and worries are on the tip of Elijah’s tongue and instead of asking any of them, he just lets out a sigh.

“Okay,” he says. “Text me your address and I’ll be there.”

He finds him on the curb, leaning against a lamppost, right under the shining light. It kind of looks like a spotlight in a sense, and Elijah unlocks the door to let Lovett slide into the passenger seat. He doesn’t have any bags with him and Elijah doesn’t ask about it.

“What’s your address?” Elijah asks.

Lovett looks at him. “You don’t know my address?” He doesn’t react when he shakes his head, just pulls out his phone and texts him again. Elijah puts it in and then they’re off again.

The ride is completely silent, save for the GPS interjecting every few moments, telling him where to turn and where to go. Then there’s a point where Lovett sighs and says, apropos nothing, “Sometimes I like to be alone. That’s all right, right?”

“Yeah,” Elijah says. He keeps his eyes focused on the road so he doesn’t know if Lovett is looking at him – probably out the window, but you never know. “Yeah, it’s all right.”

“I thought so.” He falls silent again.

He pulls up into the driveway and parks the car and before he can even move, Lovett suddenly grabs his face and leans over to kiss him. It’s a short kiss, a quick press to the lips, simple, nothing, really. He pulls away and smiles at him. It’s not happy or anything, it’s just a blank smile.

“Thank you,” he says, and then he gets out of the car and goes inside his house without looking back.

Elijah doesn’t know how long he spends in the driveway before he remembers he should go.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The catchphrase comes way before he manages to get it on video. It starts out in the early days of his employment, as a way to build some general rapport with the new hires and make them all a more cohesive workforce that’s happy with one another – or something like that, he zoned out a little during the explanation.

Jon’s the one who starts it out, whenever he sees him. “Hey, Elijah,” he hums whenever he walks in, and Elijah inclines his head and smiles at him.

He doesn’t really know exactly how it turns into a running gag, especially with Lovett, but soon enough, whenever he sees him, he bursts into a grin and says, “ _Hey_ , Elijah” and Elijah can’t help but laugh a little every time.

“It sounds obscene when you say it,” Jon points out one day through a short chuckle, and Lovett rolls his eyes and retorts, “Everything I do is a little obscene, Jon, you know this.” He throws him a little cheeky wink and that’s probably around the time where Elijah realizes that he’s lost.

It takes a while for him to figure it out, really, but he can pinpoint the moment where it happens. It’s during a Lovett or Leave It show where he’s up on stage, waiting for Lovett to come bouncing out and do his thing – which he does, and Elijah captures the whole thing – and at the end of it, he looks into the camera and grins, “Hey, Elijah.”

And that’s it. That’s when he falls in love.


End file.
